Why did I do this to myself? Did I make a mistake? Maybe I should’ve waited and thought it over longer. Oh I hope this color doesn’t take my hair out! What if my colleagues don’t think this color is acceptable?
Yes, all these questions have plagued my mind. That maybe I should’ve listened to everyone else.
I hope I’m not alone in fighting the impulse to think and say “but what will people think if…or, I can’t wear that shirt (that you love) because someone might think it doesn’t match…” TUNE OUT that noise inside of your mind that second guesses every decision you try to make.
To read the words seem silly, yet I bet you can think of at least a couple times you’ve gone out of your way, avoided speaking your truth, or changing your appearance, based on what SOMEONE else may think. Why do we do this?
Let’s face it. It feels nice to be liked and socially accepted. It’s a common denominator that unites us all; regardless of age, race and/or gender or class status. We all want to belong.
You are not alone.
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
At one point, I was switching up my hairstyles every 5-6 days just trying to ‘keep up”, “look like”, “be like” ANY one, besides me.
And then one random Friday, October 2019, I woke up early before the kids could worry me with their “urgent” needs (let’s be real), before my husband could ask me “what’s wrong?”, I looked at myself in the mirror, contemplating a ponytail or a cute scarf, and said to myself, “this hair is for the birds!”
I quickly picked up the phone, to call my beautician, “Hey girl, can you squeeze me in?” It was one of the FIRST time in 31 years that I made a decision that didn’t involve anyone’s assistance, two-cents or side-eye.
It was all on me, whether I liked the end result or not. And I was HAPPY about it!
If you take away nothing else, I want you to remember who YOU are. Tap into the parts of you that have laid dormant. Rediscover those God-given gifts and talents.
Wear your hair in the styles that best suit you. Wear red lipstick to the gym if that makes you happy, wear heels to the grocery store if your knees can withstand it. LOL, the point is to do what makes you happy.
No one can know what’s best for you, but you. Value the counsel you receive from those you love and respect. Draw closer to God. Combat those negative thoughts and return to sender.
